Vietnam through the eyes of a Sri Lankan part 11

Life in Vietnam   - Dileepa Ethapane

I came to Vietnam 2 years ago to visit my son who was a professional golfer and a Director of two golf courses in Hanoi. I was returning from a one and a half year stint in Dubai where I was the vice president of a new bank. The idea was to stay with my son for a month or so and return to Australia where I had a financial planning practice. But, I am still here 2 years later.

Somehow, I found that in Vietnam I found some things that I did not find in any other 54 countries that I had visited. I found peace, tranquility, freedom. a sense of being accepted, slow paced, and totally away from the rat race as they say.

With my children married, and settled in their lives, my Financial planning practice given over to them, and my wife deciding to leave me since my ‘ use by date’ has expired , “ I was suddenly alone. But was I really  ? I sometimes wonder. After being a loving father, and husband for 40 years of my life, surviving many a financial turbulence and the stresses and racial abuse associated with a black man in a white country, and bringing up Sri Lankan children in an alien culture. Many a day I was running around like a headless chicken.

Now that the rain has stopped, so to speak, I need to stop for a while, in my journey through life, by the side of the road, sit on a rock, wipe the sweat off my brow, relax, reflect and enjoy the simpler things in life, like fresh air and sunshine and the realization that I am still alive.  

When I will go back to Australia ? I don’t know, it is a mystery as how I got here in the first place. Life has some strange ways of happening.  John Lennon once said, “ life is what happens , when we are busy making future plans “ now that I live alone, life seems to be much quieter paced, and beginning to have time to play my Guitar, Piano, Sing songs and do my writing, and enjoy humor once again, for which I did not have time when I was in the Rat race. I discuss what I have to do, with me, and we have absolutely no disagreement. The best thing I like about me is that I never tell myself “ that’s enough “ when I am drinking. Like the ancient Chinese proverb says  “ I have no drinking problems, I drink, I get drunk, I fall down, no problem. “

I like Hanoi, I love the freedom of getting on my motorbike and ride through the narrow streets of Hanoi, overtaking parked cars and pedestrians and taking corners on two wheels. You should try this. Get yourself a motorbike, and get out of Colombo, go down south and enjoy the freedom, with the salty air going through your nostrils and feeling the wind blowing through your hair, if you still have any.

  

The people of Vietnam are a warm with a great sense of humor. Just like the Sri Lankans. They have their own jokes that are funny when related in their own language. For example this is a Sri Lankan joke . One day, there was an accident at Thimbirigasyaya junction, and a young boy came running and said someone had been knocked down by a car and had died. So, a passer by inquired,, in

Sinhala  “ On the spot the ? “ The boy said  “ Naaa, on the spot ekata  tikak eha “

Ha long Bay -                                                       tam coc -

Vietnamese drink as if it is going out of fashion. They enjoy their music and their lives. Most married men have a “darling “ or two, which means girlfriend.

So what ? in a country with such beautiful women, where women out number men, I am not surprised. The women tend to ignore the issue due to its social stigma. I fully endorse this unique cultural habit.

So, I decided to stay here for a while and see what the next phase of my life would have to offer me. I decided to lecture on  Finance & Banking, International business and English here in Hanoi.  English is compulsory in Vietnamese schools, and taught by Vietnamese teachers, with pronunciation as bad as their teeth, acquired from god knows where, the French I believe,

Although  most students could read and write well, they simply cannot speak. The reason is that they have no one to speak English since there are no foreigners here, especially in Hanoi. They are mainly dependant on their mobile phones, to translate English in to Vietnamese sometimes with disastrous results since English words have many meanings and the translation is never spot on

. ( on the spot  ? ) . There are many English teaching centres that have blossomed out of nowhere and making good money. Teaching rubbish. People flock to these centres because the teachers are ‘ White “. They don’t know that these guys are back packers from south London with a cockney accent.

Many centres specialize in Listening and speaking skills. How can you learn to listen if you cannot know and speak the language ?  However hard I tried to listen to a  Vietnamese speaking, I cannot understand because I don’t know Vietnamese in the first place. Duh.

Here are some class room classics.

I sent a message to a student one day asking if she was coming to class the next day, After consulting her mobile translator, She replied “ I am brown sugar “ !!!!  Till today I don’t know what she meant.  

I sent a message to a student who was regularly absent from class, and asked her “ Why are you so irregular in your attendance, are you playing games with me ? “ She replied, “ What ? computer games “ ?

Writing sentences from words is also can be funny. Asked to write a sentence from the word ‘ think “ a student wrote ,  ‘ I think “

Meanings of words, is also sometimes good. Asked to give the meaning of the word “ Carpenter “, a student wrote, “A music group, that sang Top of the world “ !

English pronunciation by Vietnamese also can be hilarious since their pronunciation is absolutely mind blowing. There are words that they have been mispronouncing for ages that they have assimilated in to the vocabulary and they write it, just  the way they speak.

Sheet is pronounces as shit . “Can I have a shit please ?

They also have habit of dropping the last letter in a word, and begin to write it so.

Eg  Motorby. Kilomet, Lie. ( I lie you )

There are more massage establishments here than restaurants, thousands of them, but they still cannot say massage , but keep saying “ massa “.  Massaging techniques have been in Vietnam for ages, and deeply embedded in their culture. Some of them have very trained expert masseuses, some know about massage as much as I know to speak ancient Hebrew. .

They just cannot say the word  ‘bread.’ They always say,’ breast “. In a coffee

shop near my apartment called the “ rest café “ their breakfast menu reads as follows,

Breakfast

Breast with butter & Jam  -    20,000 vnd

Breast with chicken   -          25,000 vnd

Breast with hot coffee           25,000 vnd

My favorite is breast with butter & jam, how about you ?

I lecture in banks, corporate organizations, and teach English to the Doctors at the Bachmai hospital , the largest hospital in Hanoi. I refrain from telling too many Jokes in English to them in English because they don’t understand but they will laugh even if they don’t.

Although the food is reasonably palatable here, there is no comparison to what we get in Sri Lanka. You guys should be ashamed to eat such wonderful foods all by yourself like buriani, string hoppers,egg hoppers , katta sambol, appa, thosay Pittu and malu paan just to name a few. Even dhal is not available, this makes me really mad. I am envy you guys. You are spoilt with such an array of wonderful foods available for you every day. Spare a thought for this man, when you dig in to your next thosay. Such is life. I have not eaten dog meat here, but eaten everything pretty much else, but nothing to beat a few egg hoppers with katta sambol.

Drinks are a plenty. The local brew is a vodka like concoction made out of rice wine. Packs a punch . Sometimes up to 48 degrees of alcohol by volume. Guaranteed, no hangover. God knows why. Some wines are made of rice but if additionally laced with fruits, and roots, and tree bark. Most of the ayurvedic medicines available are put in large jars of rice wine, and kept for many months or sometimes years to reach its potency. Rice wines or this vodka (48 degrees ) preparation with herbs are used to treat many diseases like arthritis , diabetes, rheumatism and high blood pressure, perhaps even alcoholism. Ha ha   I would rather take these medicines than popping antibiotics made in Taiwan. This has a two in one effect, how to get cured and drunk at the same time. Of course if it cures  you will be good. good. If it doesn’t  you will be still good. Good and dead.

Some Rice wines are kept in bottles with dead cobras, scorpions, tarantulas, cane toads ,frogs and many other poisonous reptiles. These wines are supposed to be good for vitality and serves as an aphrodisiac for men. For that matter, every thing they eat or drink are supposed to be good for man. I like this way of thinking too. Imagine when you have meals you drink alcohol, then when you go for parties, you drink alcohol, then when you get sick, you drink alcohol. No wonder these people are happy and non violent, they are just high and in la la land most of the time. What absolutely perplexes me is that, they never fight however much they drink.

Every part of the country produces different kinds of rice wines. When most of my students go back to their villages, they bring me wine from their village. One day very enthusiastic student, eager to please her teacher, once came back with a 20 litre plastic can of the most delicious rice wine, made only in her village. Strong enough to knock a horse down, but extremely palatable, and she said it was good for blood purification. This is why my blood pressure is under control. I have very little blood in my alcohol system

The next famous thing here in Vietnam are the “ Motorbikes of burden” They carry anything with absolute ease. Here are some pictures that speaks for itself .

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MY FAVOURITE PHOTO  - DOG MEAT ON IT’S WAY TO THE RESTAURANT

 

  

Waraka , have room for one more ?       Does the back tyre need air ?

5 in-one    ?                                            Fresh Chicken anyone ?

Air conditioned motorbike transport      Moving house ? no problem

Spare tyres !!                                 Drought ? no problem ,will deliver

 

EGGS With caution                             On the way to make kola kanda

It’s a Porky business                           Finally, the beast succumbs 

Lets talk about the traffic in Vietnam. It is a chaotic mixture of cars, motorbikes and bicycles, on the roads in Hanoi.

Vietnam Through the eyes of a Sri Lankan. part 1 Overview

Vietnam – Through the eyes of a Sri Lankan

By Dileepa Ethapane

If, the Buddha came back one day and wanted to live in a country which best  practiced his teachings of karuna, mettha, and muditha, It would be Vietnam.

Yet, there are no Buddhists here. Yes, contrary to what most people think out side of Vietnam, there are no religious beliefs in Vietnam. I am sure people will be very surprised to hear that especially in Sri Lanka.

I was born in Sr1 Lanka in the foothills of Pundaluoya  among the fragrant tea plantations, lush forests, waterfalls, fresh air, and unimaginable beauty, to a humble and proud Buddhist family. Later, leaving Sri Lanka to go overseas as a youngster looking for a pot of gold, I traveled to 54 countries over the past 40 years, now an Australian, I am presently living in Vietnam. Still haven’t found the pot of gold yet.

During my stay in Vietnam for the pat 2 years, I have made some startling and fascinating observations about Vietnam, it’s culture and its people. I tried to make some comparisons with my motherland, and often wondered what the hell happened to Sri Lanka. ?  

Here are some general facts about Vietnam. You may make your own comparisons as you read on. 

• There are 85 million people in Vietnam. They don’t follow any formal religion.
• They are not Buddhists as some of you would like to believe. They don’t have any Buddhist temples, but they do have some very ancient Churches, that they use for ornamental purposes and to serve  a sprinkling of Christians that live here.
• They do not have any Buddhist ceremonies whatsoever. There have no religious dignitaries who have any form of political clout.
• They have many worshipping sites, which they call  “ Pagodas “ Something similar to a large house adorned with statues of ancient looking men, with long beards . The smell of Incense is everywhere and offerings of fruit, and sweet meats are laid out on the long tables. You hear chanting that sounds like an off beat pirith done by some part time singers. They do not have a religion or practice one as such. The only people they worship and send their blessings are to their dearly departed.

• Every house and business premises has a small shrine that is decorated and alight with burning  incense, and loaded with  fresh fruit, alcohol, cigarettes, cakes and sweets. To honor their dearly departed, and to make these offerings so that they will not lack anything in their after life. Seems logical. I do not have any idea that when we go to the temple and pray, that our prayers are even heard by anybody. Or, if they would be answered, by a god or a higher being, whom we have never seen. But we sure do remember our dearly departed family members. Why not offer our merit to them ? Whether they get it is another matter. Who knows ? but if it did work, I would like my dear departed Father and my Mother and all my relatives and friends to have it.

• The Great Ho Chi Minh has a pride of place in very home, and he is revered and prayed to as Uncle Ho. After 42 years after his death, every day people come from all walks of life to visit his Mausoleum in Hanoi, see him preserved, walk past his body and silently pray, shed a tear for this great man, and say thank you.

• Even today, every day, his shrine and the mausoleum is absolutely full with queues of people who come from far and wide to pay homage to him. ( A far cry from the mausoleum of  our SWRD Bandaranaike’s shrine at Horagolla. Remember him ? )

• There is no sign of Buddha, Jesus Christ, Muhammad anywhere to be seen, ( thank god ) . In the minds and hearts of the Vietnamese people. Jesus who ? they will reply if ask them, if they knew  who is Jesus Christ or even Buddha was.   
• This reminds me of a incident that took place when I was living in New Zealand. There was a small Buddhist temple where Sri Lankans gathered. One day there was a meeting there, where I was a witness, which resulted in a heated argument by two factions of the congregation, because a Buddhist monk had visited this temple and had given a discourse in English. This infuriated a certain section of the crown and one vociferous Sri Lankan demanded from the organizers of the discourse it was in English and not Sinhala. This argument only came to an abrupt halt after hours of bickering, when one young boy got up and said.

 “ So whats’s the problem, ?  even the Buddha never gave his discourses in        Sinhala.” ?

• In my opinion, the purest form of Buddhist philosophy is practiced on a day to day basis is in  Vietnam.   A country of proud and noble people, who defeated the worlds largest and the most modern and sophisticated army, and kicked them out of south east Asia . America dropped 15 million tones of bombs in to Vietnam during the war. 45 kgs per person, used chemicals. Still couldn’t beat these diminutive determined, and delightful people. But I have never heard anyone speak ill of the Americans or foreigners who fought against them. They have forgiven and forgotten.

• Vietnamese are the most tolerant people on earth. If the Buddha had a preference who he would like his people to be like, I am sure he would have chosen the Vietnamese.  Why ?

• They are kind, they have no jealousy towards each other, they have a  “ you go by car if you have one, and I will go by my motorbike or bicycle “  policy.  They don’t care if you are rich and they are poor. They don’t blame you for being rich. They just accept it.
• They are very tolerant. In my two years here I have never witnessed a fight.

• They are kind and compassionate. Unknown people will invite you to partake in a meal they are having at lunch time on the street. They will offer their food and wine, and chat with you and laugh like hell although they don’t understand a word you say.  Cannot imagine that  these guys were same guys who made up an extremely dangerous and strong fighting unit that defeated the American and European might just 40 years ago.
• The fundamental culture is that they will never let their parents or grandparents live without them, even after they get married. They consider it their duty to look after their parents and parents in law, grand parents till they pass away.
• They are very hard working, and respectful people.. They will always give you something with both hands.
• They are not argumentative or violent. I have never seen road rage, except once. This involved me. One day a motorbike bumped in to mine  from behind and made me very angry. I got off and went and abused him with some colorful English and Sinhalese words, as loud as possible.  A crowd gathered around us, and was staring at me ranting and raving. The person who hit me, simply smiled apologetically and never replied. I suddenly realized what an arrogant fool I had been. I quickly got on to my bike and disappeared in to the evening traffic in shame.

• People drink a lot, with every meal. They consume vast quantities of  Beer and  Xeo, a  potent rice wine, and the restaurants are noisy, happy place, with people on their way to getting drunk., but, no fights, no sir, never seen one.

• Vietnam is very safe to live in. As a foreigner you can walk at any time in the night alone on the streets of  Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh city without getting mugged.  How many cities in the world could boast of that ? 

• The economy is thriving, most people are gainfully occupied. I have only seen a handful of beggars. Shops are full of things, and the city is vibrant, throbbing and bustling.

• No racial discrimination. This is what I like best. This is the only country in the world that I have visited out of 54 so far, that I have not experienced racial discrimination due to my ethnicity or the colour of my skin. I have not been allowed in pubs and restaurants in many countries due to the colour of my skin. Once was not allowed in to a Pub in Dubai for the same reason. Needless to say you experience racism, in almost all white countries, like Australia, New Zealand, UK USA etc. You even get racial discrimination in Sri Lanka.!  How many times have you experienced the treatment by waiters in hotels and restaurants of the way they serve a white man and the way they serve you ?

• Cost of living is very cheap, in Vietnam. You can live with USD 5.00 for food per day. A  1 ltr bottle of 45 degree proof rice wine will cost you $ 3.00 . You will pay $ 4.00 for a filling at a modern dentist.

• Hospitals are very good, and Doctors and nurses are kind and gentle. They don’t have the arrogance of the Doctors as in my beloved Sri Lanka. All medications are genuine. No generic stuff here, and cheap. Of course some hospitals remind you hospitals in Kandy or Badulla . But the new hospitals are absolutely fantastic.

• Vietnamese eat anything. Fresh fruit & vegetables are a plenty in Vietnam. Rice is abundant. Yes, they eat some exotic food like, Dog meat, Snake, Rats, Frogs and even birds.
• People are relaxed, they just sit at outdoor shops on the sidewalk and sip tea or coffee and watch the world go by.
• Nobody talks politics, in their homes, coffee shops, offices or anywhere. That is not up to them. They leave it up to their Government to do that. and they just concentrate on making a decent living to support their families.  
• People are very clean in Vietnam. They will not come in to any house wearing shoes, Every time you eat in a restaurant your guests will wipe the chopsticks and spoons clean, wipe the plates and wash the glasses before your meal arrives. You don’t see people especially girls walking around with the bottom of their feet dirty. How about yours ?

• Well there are some things that confuse me too, like the traffic, it is controlled chaos. If you are riding your motor bike, expect some traffic to join you from the left or the right without any warning. Also don’t be surprised if you see some coming straight at you from the front. !.

• I have witnessed many motorbike accidents, but no one comes to help the victim. They all just come around, stand and stare.

• The word customer service is never heard of here. In shops and malls, They couldn’t care less if you buy from them or not.

The opinions and observations made in this article are solely mine and not intended to offend or change anyone’s point of view. Any inference made on the contents of the article by the reader is solely dependant on the reader.

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